Homesick

I miss my family more than ever right now. Is it ever going to get any easier? It seems like the more fun I have the worse the following day is. That's probably because I realize how much I miss the fun times with my family and how they're 1,339 miles away at the moment. Sure, phone calls and Skype make it more bearable, but it's just not the same. I don't mean to question why I'm here at Southern, it's just really difficult to accept the fact that I've left my family behind. I feel like I'm so disconnected from them. I miss running through the house and bouncing down on the couch. I miss barging into my sister's room. I miss my kitten. I miss meeting Daddy in the garage to tell him about my day. I miss my Mommy's home-cooked meals. I miss home. I miss being able to light a scented candle at the end of a long day. I miss driving my truck down the back dirt roads like a maniac after a bad day. I miss my best friend. I miss summer and traveling. I miss my life. I hardly have time for myself anymore. Even what I have left of me from home I haven't had time for: listening to music, sitting down with a cup of tea, curling up in a hoodie and toe-socks to read an inspirational book, crocheting an afghan, cooking my favorite dish, writing recreationally, or even spending time doing nothing at all. I miss me. That's what hurts the most. I hate the fact that life is changing and I can't even enjoy it. I'm homesick all the time, but I haven't had time to cry about it. So tonight as I've been typing the tears have been pouring down my face, literally. I didn't realize how I've shoved it all to the side, trying to not deal with it. How pent up it's all become. Maybe now, as I post this and turn to go study, I'll be able to let go, to start over. It's going to take a lot to focus, but I'll get through it. By God's grace this too shall pass.